Let’s keep this brief: The Big Tee team has been a bit quiet on the blog for a while, haven’t we? Sorry, we’ve been pants keeping you updated but we’ve been very busy behind the scenes and we will reveal more on that in a future blog.
For now, we are going to hang out with you and talk about our 2XL to 8XL underwear for men but because we are Big Tee Shirt, we’ll throw in a few underwear puns and comments and we’ll try and keep them clean (the puns not the pants) to make things vaguely entertaining. OK… Let’s crack on with a bad joke.
What type of underwear is the best at self-defence?
We’re Trying To Get A Rise…
You may not be aware that we stock specialist underwear for the bigger chaps. We do extra-long, high rise boxer shorts that are especially good for customers’ medical conditions such as oedema, bariatric complications and hernias.
… Obviously, that’s no laughing matter but we’ll use our puns on the fly when we get the chance.
So, the higher rise underwear features extra length in the front and back to comfortably fit around your body and provide support. Crafted from a 95% cotton and 5% elastane mix, to allow stretch without irritation.
We take medical conditions very seriously… Certainly more seriously than we take our blogs. And on that note…
What’s a potato’s favourite underwear?
Heavy Weight Boxers
Like us, you may be no featherweight champion and may require big men’s boxer shorts. Don’t worry, we’ve covered our asses and have plenty in stock. Men’s designer brands like Kam, Espionage and Cotton Valley are available but we also provide our own with boxers from the Big Tee Shirt brand.
You might like to keep things loose when you hang out with your friends and our boxers are the perfect: Available in sizes 2XL to 8XL, they feature (depending on the brand) either cotton and lycra or cotton and elastane mix to maximise comfort for the maximised man. If you like twins then you won’t be disappointed with our twin packs or if you prefer multiples then the triple packs might be right up your alley.
Either way, we have a big selection of big boxer shorts in a range of colours and styles. Our shelves are absolutely bunged up full of them.
It’s easy to locate the underwear on the Big Tee Shirt website, you just need to select “Clothing” from the menu bar, then “Men’s Underwear” from the drop-down menu.
A Brief History Of Time…
You may want a bit more support from your pants and we can ensure your tackle is clean and tidy (football pun) with our big men’s briefs and plus-sized y-fronts. In both cases, you know the drill, there’s a selection of colours and styles in sizes 2XL to 8XL for the bigger man. Multi-packs are also available if you want to save a few quid!
We are starting to run out of puns now and we don’t want to lose our streak but the best underwear puns are the dirty ones.
Do stock camo underwear?
– Yes but you may not be able to see it. They are ideal if you want to go commando.
Recommended Storage Instructions:
We have been asked in the past about the correct way of storing underwear.
– In your drawers
Jokes & Puns Too Awful To Make it to this blog:
Here are a few jokes that were just too awful to include on the blog… But we didn’t want to waste them so we’ll hang them out to dry here:
Scrapped Title: Cheap underwear for tight a***s.
Tag Line: Bring back hanging… Abolish underpants.
What kind of pants do reporters wear?
*Lisps* Lets thing a thong *Groan*
Anyone who says they can find better underwear for big men is full of s***.
…On that note, we better toddle off but if you can think of any more pants puns then please do let us know and make us wet ourselves with laughter.
… Before anyone gets offended, we aren’t saying bad things about amazing customers! We are talking about “Bariquins”; which are big mannequins (called Barry) used to train our awesome Emergency Service staff in the UK.
The Big Tee Shirt team thinks this is very cool… and it’s made even cooler by the fact that Barry has excellent taste in super XL-sized clothing: He wears sweatshirts and jogging bottoms provided by us! This proves is not a complete dummy and for the record, he takes a custom 13XL made by the Big Tee Shirt brand.
So let’s shed a little bit more light on Barry and his friends…
25-Stone Barry Makes the News!
Yes, big people are not going away and as a result, training is provided to our emergency service people on coping with a ‘larger than average’ persons in an emergency situation. This made national news at the end of September with ITV, The Metro, Manchester Evening News and even the Daily Mail (To name a few) picking up the story.
It’s a good job that Barry (and his friends) wear our clothing as it protected his modesty when his pictures were being strewn across the internet and national newspapers a week or so ago. Obviously, some of the stories came across a little negative *Cough. Daily Mail. Cough* but the Big Tee Shirt team feel extremely positive that our products are a small part of training our beloved emergency services.
As the population gets larger, this kind of invaluable tool (It’s what you are, sorry Barry) is vital to preventing injuries and saving lives and as bigger people ourselves, it’s great to know that we’re in well-trained, competent hands… Not that there was ever any doubt.
We did ask Barry for a comment but we’re still waiting for him to get back to us.
We Love Our Emergency Service Guys and Girls
The Bariquin dummies serve a very real and very important role: training our Fire and NHS staff to better deal with bigger people. Apparently, between 2011 and 2015, 1,000 NHS staff were injured whilst treating larger patients. It’s humbling to think that our clothing will be on every Bariquin that helps with training and should potentially reduce the risk to our service folk.
As a big bloke myself, I would never want to be a burden on our amazing services and I’m all for the additional training if it helps staff stay safe and saves big lives. Despite a lot of negative press, especially regarding the NHS, I don’t think anyone is in any doubt that it is the dedication, hard work and goodwill of the staff that keeps the wheels turning. We have an awful lot to be thankful for.
Bariquin’s Vital Statistics:
You may be wondering about the details of the Bariquin, so here they are…
Each Bariquin weighs 25 stone, 350 lbs or 158.75kg
Barry can be broken down into 25 parts
Barry’s largest part is his torso which weighs 2.51 stone, 35lbs 4oz or 16kg
Barry wears custom-size 13XL sweatshirts and jogging bottoms
Barry has a special removable-limb assembly to allow for amputee training scenarios
Bariquins were designed and built in the UK
Assembly takes approximately 10 minutes
Takedown takes approximately 10 minutes
Fancy a Bariquin For Yourself?
You may wish to have a Barry of your own personal reasons and the good news is: You can! Head over to our friends at http://www.bariquins.com/ to grab a Barry but be prepared to pay over £4000… You can’t put a value on saving a life though, can you?
Don’t worry, we’re not going to leave you, in fact we fully intend to remain awesome and if possible, become even more awesome. Why not have a look at our range of mens jeans in waist sizes 40” up to 70” whilst you here but not before we leave you with a little joke:
Q: What happens when a large Yorkshireman sits on a plastic garden chair?
I’m going to address the elephant in the room and make this statement: big men are sexy.
No jokes about me being the elephant in the room (I’m way ahead of you) and obviously as a bigger man I am biased about why we are more appealing. You don’t even have to believe me at this point but give me two minutes of your time to read the rest of this blog and if I have not convinced you (not that you probably need convincing) then feel free to leave me a comment or share this blog to spread the word.
It’s possible that you already have the opinion that bigger gents are sexy specimens, but you can’t put your finger on why – so let me highlight a few of our plus (sized) points about what makes us stand out.
Sense of Humour
Bigger guys are more fun. Because most big men have always been bigger and always will be, we’ve learned to not take ourselves too seriously. We can laugh at ourselves and take a joke better than most. We’re large people trapped in a world created for smaller people.
We’ve adapted to be the funny ones who are more comfortable in our own skin even if we’re not comfortable in your tiny car. We’ll have plenty of anecdotes that come with being a big bloke and we’re probably more likely to laugh at ourselves before laughing at anyone else. You can even find some of us in humorous big t-shirts – which we sell by the way.
But more importantly, we’ll make you laugh. Lot’s of comedians are built bigger and it’s no coincidence. If you can laugh at your own expense then you can always make people laugh with you.
We’re Better Dressed
Bear with me here; I’m not talking about when we are lounging around the house in our PJ’s or joggy bottoms, I’m talking about when we go out.
Because it’s harder to find decent clothes to fit a bigger man, we have to be a bit more selective about what we wear. Hence why people come back to Big Tee Shirt, we have top brands in big sizes at very reasonable prices.
It makes sense that if it’s harder to find clothes that fit you then you put that extra big of effort into the selection process. That and you probably buy from us so you will look awesome.
We’re More Manly
We just are.
I’m not saying we laugh at hipsters in skinny jeans but… Yeah, ok we might laugh at them. They look ridiculous, don’t they? Bless ‘em.
Put it this way, when was the last time you heard someone say: “Phwoar, look at that bloke in his pointy shoes and skinny jeans, with his little curled up moustache. He is sexy! He’s a REAL man!” – They’ll never say that. Because the big bloke next to them will be getting all the attention. Obviously.
We’re built to be protective and this makes us desirable in a sexy kind of way. Look at celebrity bodyguards. You never see a slightly-built bloke taking on that hefty role do you? No, they are man-mountains of ginormous statue and make no mistake.
The point is there to be made, we don’t like to stereotype but bigger men are more manly. I’ve just dug myself a hole for the next point.
We’re Less Judgemental
Want a second portion? Go ahead!
Fancy a dessert? Help yourself!
If you want to diet, you go right ahead but know that big men don’t judge. We love you for who you are because you love us for who we are. Isn’t life better when you can just be yourself and be happy? Unless you’re a hipster; We may judge your choice of jeggings if we’re being honest.
But as a partner, we are less judgemental. Just to be clear. I probably should not have made this point right after the hipster comment.
We’re Not Obsessed with Ourselves
Though this blog may appear to contradict that, I have to write about something and it is a blog for men’s extra large clothing.
What I mean is, bigger men are less prone to excess preening and you know only a select number of us will spend any real time at the gym. Less time at the gym and less time spent on beauty therapy probably means more time with the other half. So the lack of self obsession is beneficial – and sexy. Probably.
That said, if you are looking for gym clothes for big men, we do those too. We know it’s hard to find clothes that fit when you get fit.
Lust For Life
Larger fellas enjoy life more: We laugh more, we eat what we like most of the time, we’re probably limited in terms of where we can go or how we can get there so we make sure we enjoy the things we do when we do them. We probably avoid public transport wherever possible though.
We won’t scrimp on the extra plate at the buffet and we won’t lecture you on how you should live your life. Being more comfortable with ourselves means you can be more comfortable with us. Enjoy your life, all those diets won’t be remembered when you’re grey and old!
There’s More of Us to Love
Yes, that old cliche! We’re not being sizeist here because if you’ll remember, we’re not judgemental. We’re good like that.
I’m not saying that there is a size-to-lovability ratio, but we’re bigger and what may seem imposing when you first meet us soon shows we are mostly big softies who wouldn’t be the way we were if we were made in a standard size. You couldn’t fit the people we are in a smaller frame, it’s just scientific fact!
We’re More Content
There’s a lot to be said for being content. In fact the Danish have made it into an artform and seem to keep writing books about it. They call it Hygge – but to a bigger man it’s just something that comes naturally.
Big guys have learned to live in a small world and we are less likely to pressure ourselves to conform to social ideals that the media push upon everyone. When you’re around content people you feel more content yourself and enjoy life more.
We’re Great in Bed.
It’s statistically proven… Probably.
We sleep better and do other things better too. We have more comfortable night wear like (cheap plug) extra long night shirts. We probably have bigger beds as we don’t fit into a standard double all that well – but this is a great way to lead onto the last point…
We’re a Better Quality Cuddle
We’re just big teddy bears really, aren’t we? I’m told there is something to be said for a hug from a bigger guy. We’ll put you at ease and make you feel secure. Yes it sounds soppy but that’s fine. We may be big and tall, long and thin or short and round but big blokes come in all kinds of forms and I promise we make the best cuddlers. I’ve had the feedback. We may be choosy about who we cuddle though so it’s probably best not to hug the first big bloke you see.
… That’s just weird. Probably illegal too. You should ask first really.
… That was another plastic patio chair that will have to go in the dustbin.
This is just one of many issues that us larger blokes have to face. Being big often incurs extra expense, excessive personal injury or at the least, great discomfort. This world was not built for guys over a certain size even if our range of big and tall clothes were.
Let me share with you my friends, just a few of the everyday problems that every big man can relate to. If we’ve left any out (we have) then feel free to let us know about them and we can laugh along together at how the tiny world seems to have it in for us.
Doorways Built For Hobbits
This is the absolute worst thing in the world. I know that the general population are getting bigger and taller but it seems that many places still have low door frames that are responsible for some fairly hefty concussions in their time.
We’ve got friends who have to come and visit us as we can’t go and see them in their cottage due to “that time someone had to go to hospital because the had too many jars and knocked themselves out on the doorway to the kitchen”. Oh how they laughed.
I got stitches by the way.
Low doorways are the bane of every tall man. Narrow doorways also pose a problem for the larger chaps but that is another story entirely.
People Who Need To Comment About Your Size
“How’s the weather up there? Do you play basketball? Are there birds nesting on top?” – And that’s just the tall blokes. Tubby guys get it far, far worse, believe me! I probably couldn’t print some of the things that I’ve heard over the years in this blog but I may consider it for a future NSFW blog… If you request it!
But the point stands: Why is it necessary to point out that we are massive? We’ve heard them all before when it comes to these comments but it seems like us Brits enjoy commenting on a man’s stature as much as we do about making unnecessary observations about the weather; that we can all see anyway.
Showers Built For Kids
Thankfully, most showers are adjustable so it’s not an everyday problem, but I guarantee that if I stay at a hotel the shower is shoulder-height. This does not just mean stooping to wash my hair but the inevitable smashing of the face (usually the nose) into the shower head or side panels.
Fixed shower-heads should be banned completely.
Then we have cubicles that are too damn small. It’s fine if you are 5 foot 2, but when you’re the other side of 6 foot and perhaps a pound or two overweight (OK a stone or three) then getting in and out is hard enough, let alone actually washing in there.
… And Baths We Have To Squat In
Leading on from showers, we have baths. These are generally no better.
A bath should be a relaxing experience, but for the bigger man it poses a veritable death trap. Firstly the logistics of getting in and out are very little fun, especially if it’s all greased up with bubble bath or those bath bombs the missus likes. It makes me look like a greased up sea lion trying to get up hill.
But once in, it’s no better. The average bath was not made for the bigger bloke. There’s arms and feet everywhere and trying to find the soap… Well. There’s a few jokes in that I’m sure. Feel free to suggest a few.
Shirts That Fit With Sleeves That Don’t
Part of the reason we set up Big T Shirt nearly 20 years ago was because (as a big bloke) I couldn’t find clothes that were built for a man of my… aspect ratio. This was ok when I was around the house in jogging bottoms and a t-shirt but special occasions were the worst…
The main issue was finding shirts that actually fitted. If I wanted to roll up my sleeves it was fine but getting all the measurements right and cuffs that actually got to my wrist’ then I had to do some searching. But search no more my friends; we’ve got big and tall shirts that would fit even the largest of gentlemen. So you can crack on with looking dapper and impressing everyone around with your sophisticated chat and hilarious wit without worrying you look like you stole a kid’s school shirt.
Every Mirror Is Too Low
Big men don’t usually make too much of a fuss about looking in every mirror (we know we look good) but it does seem like most mirrors we set up for children. Just like the shower cubicle, changing cubicles are basically the same situation. Usually you’d struggle to get much more than a mop and bucket in there, let alone a man of generous stature.
So once you are in, you may wish to check how you look… But of course, you need to stoop to see it. Just like everyone’s bathrooms or just about every mirror, anywhere. Yet another reason to order big and tall clothes online!
Wanting A Car We’ll Never Fit In To.
We all love a sporty car, don’t we? Or maybe I’m going through a midlife crisis?
Not that it matters, I won’t get into the ruddy thing anyway.
If we’re honest, half the reason we (used) to watch Top Gear and now watch The Grand Tour is to witness the spectacle of Jeremy Clarkson struggling to get in and out if pretty much any car he looked at. Why are fast cars designed for diminutive people? Surely a big chap should not have to buy a truck to get some comfort? Don’t get me wrong, you won’t get me in a bright yellow Ferrari but that’s mostly because it’s not an option until they bring out an XXXXL version.
Standing Out In The Crowd All Times
With our good looks, humorous repartee and humble nature, us big men do stand out. You’ll always spot us at social events, undoubtedly surrounded by amused onlookers as we regale them with anecdotes and tales. We really are people magnets.
The thing is, sometimes you just want to carry on unnoticed and go about your business. This is especially true when we’re out shopping. Most blokes hate shopping and for big blokes it’s even worse as we tower above the crowds and get looked at. We struggle to weave our way through busy stores and streets so it’s usually a right pain in the backside. Places like the tube are literally no-go areas for us.
So we order online wherever possible.
“One Size Fits All” Does Not Fit
This x 1000
Why do companies still produce ‘one size fits all’ when the size in question does not fit all? We beg to differ with the term. It gets our goats. It winds us up. It does not fit.
Yes, we’re big and tall but I’ve given up on anything that claims to fit all as I’ve got drawers full of gloves and hats that are not, and never will be, my size. ‘One size fits most’ is probably what these items should have on the label.
This is probably our biggest peeve: Be it ‘planes, trains or automobiles’. We can understand why Steve Martin was so sweary in the film of the same name – Watch it, he held a record for the most swear words in a film for a while! You may want to watch out if you’ve got kids around, otherwise watch this and bear in mind it’s NSFW!
But we digress, back to public transport: The seats are awful and even sitting off to one side does not help with the knee room. Long haul flights are the absolute worst for this and if you’re a big bloke in economy, then you’ll feel like a battery hen.
As I’ve mentioned earlier, the Tube is virtually a no-go area for any big chap and buses are not much better. Combine that with half the cars of the world being the equivalent of go-carts and you can see that transportation generally is very little fun.
But the special prize goes to aeroplanes with their tiny seats, extremely limited leg room and (heaven forbid) the smallest toilets in the world. I’d sooner spend a weekend in a caravan at Skeg Vegas than go through the trauma and humiliation of public transport.
The World Wasn’t Built for all Big men.
… It really wasn’t. But luckily, our range of clothing was.